Nothing’s happening! No one around me, no income, no interest in people, the world, partner gone, yet I am not so bad, not so sad. Yet I am not free. I feel barren and have for a long time. Don’t know how to sort it but “be”. I love this looking at the external mirror as a reflection, but I don’t find I can move a lot to deal with some things!

Nothing much going on around you, perhaps, but a great deal happening within, I would say. If you can’t take any action at this time to deal with whatever is not in its place, it’s to accept the situation for now. Life is always moving on and, with it, some new opportunity to begin anew. Even though there’s an absence of experience at present and you feel ‘barren’, you’re still able to declare that things are ‘not so bad and not so sad’. That’s something good to acknowledge because that is your love informing you that this is merely a transitory period while the body consciousness prepares for a new phase of the life. Keep alert and as conscious as possible as to what’s happening around you. The change must come and life has a way of providing the solution, often when least expected.


‘The purpose of life is to be free of the burden of emotional negativity’. What exactly do you mean by this? I guess I don’t understand the usage of your term ‘emotional negativity’.

The purpose of life is to be free of emotional negativity, since all emotion is an impediment to the inner state of freedom. There are no positive emotions, but this is likely to be disputed by anyone still attached to the fluctuating emotional experience of life. Emotion is the past which refuses to be negated because it’s pathologically attached to experience, both the good and the bad. There is no emotion in nature, thank goodness, which is why we love the simplicity of the creatures and their extraordinary innocence. Human beings are also beautiful and innocent in their original state; but what makes us hard, cruel, greedy, possessive and unloving is our insistence on being in revolt to the harmony of life.

The spiritual process is the depersonalising of the life. Emotions are personal and, of course, vary in different people. One person can be angry while another is calm and untroubled. So emotions are selfish and rely on something being taken out of context of the whole of life, which distorts the clarity of right action or being true to the needs of the situation. One of the main difficulties in detaching from emotion is that many people feel they have a right, for example, to be angry or moody. But due to an absence of sufficient self-knowledge, they fail to perceive the negative effect such behaviour has on the environment and, particularly, the destructive impact on those they profess to love. Emotion is assumed to just disappear after the release of this negative energy. But the truth is that the residue of emotion lives on within the psyche of the body and knits up with every other unresolved emotional fragment of self. This formulates as the psychic body of self which is projected onto the world as the person; the mask of dishonesty in the world.

Emotional negativity is not only anger, jealousy, resentment, fear but other more subtle traits such as self-judgement and the judgement of others. Self, as the name implies, is selfish and unconscious of anything apart from itself. Integration of external and internal sensation is a unity of being called love. This is the stillness and source of the mystery behind the appearance of the body. Love is the unifying principle which is the natural state of human beings when the emotional body and mind are quiescent. The principle of love is universal as a changeless state of being, whereas emotion fluctuates from extreme excitement to the depths of despair. The difficulty is that, as a race, we’ve become identified with the objective world as a fixed structure that just goes on. This continual outer focus on the material world has disconnected us from reality, the inner source from which everything, including ourselves, arises.


Can you explain “the all-pervading nothing or absence of experience which is God”.

The truth, as every realised individual has declared, is nothing. But what is nothing? At this octave of reality, the ‘nothing’ can only be realised through having passed through the ‘something’. The something is the combination of emotional negativity and psychological pain which forms the psychic self in every body. In the long journey back through the self, as each aspect of ignorance is consciously faced, there is the knowledge of what attached the person to their former suffering. This is retained energetically within the being and is what is referred to as ‘self-knowledge’, the most authentic source of truth.

When, eventually, there is more love than self in the body, a spiritual transformation occurs in the purified space of the individual’s psyche. From knowing something there is now the pure knowledge of nothing. Within this nothing, however, is access to the truth of whatever is needed in the moment. The whole spiritual process is a preparation to surrender everything that has been known. This is the moment of truth and is realised inwardly as fulfilment of everything the mind could ever desire as a totality of being – the power and glory within the void.

As self-knowledge deepens through the detachment from the need for experience in the world, the perception expands accordingly. When the frontal intelligence unites with consciousness, I the subject disappear, and with it the objective formal world. When nothing perceives nothing, there is no I as a centre of my world. What opens up is a 360 degree perspective which is God realising God’s self. In that moment, the differentiated senses are unified and function as a realised state of consciousness, no longer separated from the Source. The state cannot be held but it doesn’t need to be, for after a brief exalted exposure to the ultimate reality, I must return to participate in the daily living process. But there is a difference. What is retained is the pure knowledge of the realisation, which will then be tested through the challenges of life to bring that state of God-consciousness into the world as the living truth within the body.


Is  there no life (existence, reality of any kind) after death?

There is no death – only life. The physical body is merely a temporary reflection of the pure life within. Death is the death of the world gathered in time. The world, being unreal, withdraws at physical death and the person is never seen again. What does endure is the light of self-knowledge, retained as individual consciousness as the sum total of the life’s experience on earth. What reincarnates is the missing knowledge of our eternal being, although each man and woman is supported by the light of the spiritual being within. No-one can rest easy for long in the death state when there is still a feeling of something missing. This sense of incompleteness is registered as a tug to return to earth to experience life again, which will trigger the next recurrence. This is why it’s so important while alive to do what is truly desired so that there’s no need to come back. And what everyone truly desires more than anything else is to unite with love as the original state of being.


Can one experience more than one spiritual awakenings?

The entire life’s experience is a process of becoming more spiritually awake. For the majority of people this happens at an unconsciousness level of mind. What characterises a genuine spiritual awakening is when the life’s directions changes irrevocably as a consequence of a radical change in consciousness. There are many other factors which determine whether it will be necessary to experience further spiritual awakenings. It’s usually only necessary should the man or woman drop off back to sleep! What does happen during the lifetime for someone living a more conscious and responsible way of life is that there are certain climacterics in the spiritual inner journey whereby deeper perceptions of the mystery of love, truth, beauty and the purpose of life are realised. This is not unlike a gradual dawning of the radiant inner sun, which is the enlightenment point of individual consciousness.


Anger is what pushes you to fight when you are in danger so I love my fury.

Love is woman’s true nature which will protect her undo death. Love flees from anger and what remains is sorrow and heartache. Love knows in its wisdom that when someone has suffered enough, they will begin to question their right to defend their anger or any other emotional negativity.


Lance what happens if you don’t believe in God?

Belief is simply the acceptance of something in someone else’s experience. The downside of this is that the person then exists below their own true creative potential and will lack authenticity in their lives. Relative to the truth of existence, it matters not if anyone believes or doesn’t believe in God. Freed at physical death from holding up the deadening weight of the world, the intelligence speeds up tremendously and the truth of life behind the form is perceived. We are far more intelligent in the death state, where the true depth of someone’s self-knowledge is realised. Here, freed of the constraints of the mind’s interpretation of life, there is the direct experience of reality. Everyone and everything is God, but it’s the degree of an individual’s light of consciousness that determines how conscious I am of my own reality


Why would humans on earth be the only source of love in the Universe? That just doesn’t feel consistent with my own perception of Universal Love. Could you explain this a little further? 

Each planet within the solar system is a unique spiritual principle. The earth’s cosmic principle is love. Love, in its impersonal state of purity, is synonymous with cosmic consciousness. Human love, which is mostly based on sentiment and personal attachment, is a wraith beside this mighty potential within each of us.

The original state of being is none other than union with love as the spiritual being of the earth. Love is the medium through which the truth of existence can be consciously realised. Love is of the earth and is the way humanity contributes to the evolution of life elsewhere in the cosmos. Anything we can know now or in the future is perceived through the love of the earth’s spiritual essence. So when you say the entire universe is made of love, you are perceiving your own love reflected through the purity of cosmic space.


Not sure if sufficient practical evidence has been gathered to make conclusions on what happens after physical death since no one has actually crossed the border and returned to enlighten those of us still in the physical world Just my opinion.

You will never find practical evidence that is acceptable to the rational mind concerning the truth of death or any other aspect of reality. The virtue of self-knowledge gained through self-sacrifice is the most reliable source of truth and is for the individual alone. The truth of death is a subjective state and can only be realised in one’s own experience. Because we come from a place that is immortal within the being the reality of death is immediately recognisable when anyone enters the deathless state while alive. The spiritual process when practised rightly brings about a spiritual union, implicit in which is the unmistakeable knowledge of the state of immortality.


“Divine compassion is to walk through the world but not be moved or fooled by its phoney pretences.” How does one do this? I have found that when we live with the intent to give unconditionally, we inevitably find some people who will take and take until they have drained every ounce of your Being, mentally, physically, emotionally etc. I have struggled with this understanding, because to stop offering or walk away seems to be a lack of compassion, yet continuing with the dependency feels foolish. It seems compassion shouldn’t be blind sacrifice, but there must be a wisdom I don’t understand. Thank you.

The error is living with ‘intent to give unconditionally’. Is it truly serving another to give in to their demands or expectations or does it just perpetuate their wilfulness and undermine your own integrity? In true giving there’s no choice, for in that sacred exchange both giver and receiver share in the unity of the moment, which is love without taint of self or intent.

Wisdom comes from being responsible for your own living life. Inherent within this state of being is the discrimination of whom or what to serve and this is determined by the moment. It may be that you walk past the beggar in the street, well aware of their need, but do nothing. Why is this? Because it wasn’t in their lights to receive anything from you. Next day you may do something to help another, but the point is that it will be in that person’s lights to receive from you. Either way an individual will not make a problem or judge themselves as having failed or succeeded in living up to any ideal of holiness.

The person, with all of their concepts of what’s right and wrong, good and bad, is the problem. This has created a nucleus of confusion called a conscience. It’s impossible to be truly compassionate while a slave to a conscience. When a man or woman is responsible for life, the conscience disappears (it was only a mental constraint anyway) and what remains is the clarity of mind which sees straight without distortion.


Without competition, success and failure there would be no internet or computers for you to post with

The internet and computers are not the problem. It’s the content and how the technology is utilised. I use the internet in most instances to praise life and love and to reach people through my teaching who may be looking for some guidance and direction. You can’t change the way things are since it’s all an effect of the progressive drive of ignorance and insanity. Best that can be done is to be responsible for life in that position, space and time. Do what you do and enjoy your life.


You say “the divine connection cannot adequately be described in conceptual language..” but you use nearly 500 words to describe a large number of concepts. Headlessness is about having no head, no face. There are no words to describe what is really there instead of a head. What you call “the divine connection” is misleading. “Connection” implies something connected to something else. What things are these? For me there is no-thing filled with everything. That’s it.

 It may be alright for you if you are free (and only you know that). But what about those still trapped in ignorance and tormented by emotional pain? Are you washing your hands of them in your arrogance? Perhaps you’ve forgotten when, not so long ago, you looked for guidance from someone a little closer to home. It’s true that the divine connection cannot be adequately described but it can be demonstrated through the living life. Only in the mirror of the existential life can the inner reality be validated in a way that’s demonstrable to all.


Thank you; so…I can be aware of my own consciousness, observe it..so to speak?

There’s a time when I can observe consciousness. But this becomes an ever finer perception until it’s possible to be in a deeper state of being without any position or centre which would otherwise compel the mind to be aware of something even at the abstract level of mind. In this state I am the perception of nothing, focused on nothing which is producing nothing. This is the ultimate self-knowledge when able to be held as an uninterrupted state of being, which is fulfilment beyond anything the mind could possibly conceive.


Are you saying that we should stop thinking or that we should observe the thoughts?

Although in the beginning it can be helpful to observe the thoughts, after a time the observer (in some teachings called ‘the witness’) becomes a fixed position of mind attached to the thought process itself. The natural role of the observer is as a first response of intelligence to the practicalities of being in a material world and survival of the body organism. But until the observer becomes conscious of its function, it unavoidably identifies with the demands and eccentricities of the emotional self. The result is spasmodic worry, anxiety and aimless thinking. In the first instance, it’s to attend to the practicalities of the external life, particularly in the area of relationships. The mind generates a momentum of mental energy, thinking about unresolved problems rather than taking action where necessary. Taking action neutralises aimless thinking to a large extent.

Random images in the mind are unavoidable. It’s only by allowing the thought to move to its next frame that the thinking process begins. The mind needs to be anchored to something real to prevent it wandering and thinking aimlessly. The anchor is the pure sensation within the body that’s always tingling as the pulse of life. When the attention is put on this pure sensation within the body, the mind begins to slow down and eventually rest easy in the stillness of being. When practised regularly, no thought is able to move; this introduces a clarity of mind and a greater authority in mastering the mind’s wandering habits.


It would be interesting to hear more about this nothingness state which you call God Can one remain in this state of nothingness permanently or he or she has to climb up again after getting pulled down by the worldly cares , on and on goes the tug of war till death Thanks Lance

Many people enter the state of nothing, either fleetingly or for longer periods. It’s so startling to the mind when it happens that it’s never forgotten. There are numerous reports of this when people recount the most significant events in their life. But it’s rare to have an uninterrupted state of union with God or enlightenment since the person is unable to rest in peace for long in the absence of emotional feelings and psychological movement of the mind. The pull of the world is too strong and the man or woman succumbs to the need for experience at the emotional level of existence. In other words, they are still attached to their relationships with others and their position in the world. A ‘tug of war’ is a good description of the spiritual process. One part of the individual is being pulled out by external forces, while the other part is focused inwards in trying to overcome the virulence of their self that is in revolt to the inner source of power.

Living a more conscious life (which is simply being responsible for the actions and responses of my person) harnesses the power inherent within the body. The natural state of being, which is nothing that can be quantified other than its quality of easiness and peace, is always accessible. The task is to dissolve the emotional layers of self which have wrapped around the natural life body. As this is done, the wonder of life begins to shine through the form as the divinity each of us is as a spiritual being in the material world.


Comment on the article: ‘Pornography: The Servant of Pain’.

There’s been porn all throughout history. Have a sense of humour.

When you’ve come out of the other side of the human condition of pain there’s plenty to laugh about, as the Buddha discovered. I don’t think it’s such a laughing matter for the people whose lives have been ruined and continue to be wrecked by pornography. History is the long-running saga of unhappiness on earth.

A sense of humour is an aspect of divine compassion to offset the biggest joke of all time – this is that human beings have the capacity to know and theorise about anything except what’s important and of value. Love is of value, not only to the wellbeing of the individual but also of the planet.  Just how we’re doing as a race can be gauged by the condition of the world at any time.


A man asks: You speak wonderfully of a man’s task here in a sexual context. Can you elaborate on what a man’s task is, emotionally and how he can recognise his own shadow(s)?

Man in his current condition in the world is unable to recognise the shadow in himself. This is because he’s fundamentally resistant to love, although he may convince himself and his partner otherwise. The only way he can recognise his resistance is through being willing for his woman to point out to him when he’s not being honest to love in the partnership. To be honest to love is to have no secrets and, at any moment, to examine anything that might sully the space between them.

Man’s fundamental shadow is his shame in not doing what he’s supposed to be doing here on earth. This is to love woman, his divine opposite principle. What’s happened as a consequence of the demise of love and predominance of sex over time is the absorption in woman of the male sexual energy. This accounts for the anger and rage that she feels periodically in varying degrees of intensity. It’s the intrusion of the alien parasite of sex in her sacred space of love. Today, whenever man endeavours to love woman, he must confront the awful residue of his own male sexuality which appears as woman’s emotionality. Little wonder that many men now opt for the easy option of loving another man and, similarly, woman another woman, or finding something seemingly more important to do in the world. It’s just too much for most to make a stand for love.

Man must be willing to love selflessly so that woman surrenders her pain, which is the male sexual entity inside her. Only pure love can do this, nothing else. The man must love with authority and simplicity by delighting his woman and not for his own sexual gratification. Honesty between the partners and a shared sense of purpose is implicit. Man must not be a slave to his emotions, which will accuse the partner of not being loving, or else turn in on himself and not be willing to say what’s causing him to be emotional. He must be attentive at all times to his emotional self, which will appear to obscure his integrity and nobility of purpose. To restore love back to earth requires the ultimate surrender by man – his independence. Independence in man arises from his shadow of shame in not being a man of love but a man of the world instead and pursuing his many substitute loves, such as his work, art or any other interests. Woman despises men but adores Man, who in truth is the Lord in existence and is inherent in every man.

Man’s task is to purify his emotions through the discovery of a love greater than his self. There are no positive emotions, contrary to the view of therapists and new age teachings. Love is not an emotion but an original state of being. The purpose of love is for partners to return to this place of sublime beauty. As a spiritual teacher I endeavour to confront the awful resistance to love in the people, having had to face the full onslaught of the wilful entity in this body. I can show man how to overcome his resistance to love, as I can alert woman to the error of her ways and how to be more in command of love. But man and woman must be willing to hear me and put into practice what I say, if it’s the truth for them. Otherwise it’s a waste of time and nothing changes for good.


Comment on the article: ‘The Shadow in Woman’

Wonderfully written and accurate in most aspects. yet a woman’s shadow is so profound that she often finds the spiritual strength to seek that which quenches her vibrant emotionality, that which puts to rest her fear of abandonment, that which loves her through unconditional companionship ~ the ideal lover, the divine friend, none other than Krishna himself. Women are strange that way, which even when lucidly promiscuous, in her lies the seed of the profound ascetic. This lies in the man too, but as the very much suppressed female principle, for man seeks first his own pleasure, even in sacrifice.

It’s not woman’s shadow but her mystery that is profound. The shadow, by its very name, conceals in the dark the light of her serenity and beauty. Is it wise to make an ideal of anything in this existence? Woman is no fool but continually fools herself with such notions of an idealised love because she assumes that such a state of being is impossible here in the world where love has all but disappeared. And she cannot be blamed for this. The seed of love’s eternal essence is indeed planted in each body as the principle of Man and Woman in their idealised state or godhead. But this is a world of doing and action which, unless addressed practically and with deep understanding, brings conflict and heartache.

Woman is the hope of the world. But she must know what she doesn’t want, which is to be with a sexual man who hasn’t the time or inclination to truly love. She must make love only for love and refuse to let an excitable man enter her sacred mystery. A woman of love must be prepared to die for love by being honest to the situation of being in a relationship. Man and woman enter a relationship to enjoy being together and sharing the privilege of love’s mystery as a continual unfolding of the romance of life.


Did Man make woman emotional or is it in her nature…made that way ?

Woman’s original nature is love. She only becomes emotional (which means disconnected from her true nature) when she is not being loved. Love is not an emotion, which is a condition of time and past. Nor is love an energy but a timeless power that enters existence at its purest octave through physical love. This is the basis of tantric love – the most misused and abused spiritual practice on earth.

Man began to make woman emotional when he became distracted by worldly considerations and finding more important things to do other than to make selfless love to her. The primary purpose of making love was to offset the negative forces of existence by ensuring that love was the predominant quality of life, both as an inner state of being and reciprocated outwardly as a harmony in the physical world. It still is for anyone inspired to make love for love and not just for self-gratification.

It was man’s usurpation of woman’s virtue through using her as a sexual commodity. In her vulnerability to his superior strength and material hold of her worldly security, together with the manipulation of her children, woman had no choice but to follow man’s example to join him in his substitute love of the manufactured world. She has never got over this betrayal of love and exploitation of her essential nature of love. However, in having contributed by default to the appalling condition of life on earth, every woman is now subjected to the overall consequences of the degradation of the planet. This is appearing as climate change, pollution of the oceans, mental disorders, poverty, coronavirus, terrorism, sexual deviancy, human trafficking, drugs and slavery.

But still we find it acceptable to go on. This is because love or life is still in charge. Only the individual man or woman can make a difference by coming back to life and love.


I was thinking of befriending you… Until I read the very first sentence of this post. No thanks!

It’s good that you recognised so quickly that what I have to say is not for you at this time. You’re certainly not alone in this since the majority of the world’s population stays well clear of any genuine realised state of consciousness.


Do you “think” some are predestined to arrive where you have? What made you so determined to search for truth and endure everything it required? Is it only a few human beings that is “chosen”, that can stand the fire and are they predestined to do so? And if so, why are all the rest (of us) not inclined to do so? Who or what made the choice to become conscious In YOU?

Nothing is certain in the creative process. Everyone alive has the incipient knowledge of the immortal state, but the impulse to realise the truth as a conscious state of being is rare indeed. The individuals who do so are not special or ‘chosen’ but when nudged by the spirit to return home respond with an unswerving resolve and willingness to unite with the source of their inspiration.

Who can say with any certainty when it’s time for someone to make the final run home? It’s said that for the first half of his life, Paul helped crucify the Christians before his conversion on the road to Damascus. Was this predestined or the inevitable consequence of the opposing forces of existence determining divine revelation through the eradication of ignorance? In my own experience, I had extended as far out as was necessary in the world in the first half of my life to have activated the point of reality to signal the journey back. So when it is time, there is no choice – just a willingness to respond to the call of the spirit.

The truth is that there are no losers in this creation because all eventually unite with the Source at journey’s end. But there is a purpose to life on earth, which is to validate the inner reality through sensory experience. Eventually everyone is compelled, by the way of things, to make the divine connection while alive, and then to live that state of being as the truth in existence. But such is the resistance in the masses and attachment to the sensory world that for the majority of people the truth can wait. Consequently it will take an eternity of time for humanity to come to full conscious fruition.


specially when it comes “to parallels the mystic’s inner process as the gradual surrender of the personal” and “the ultimate truth of existence”. Who can so easily pretend as such?

You can’t pretend so easily when you dare to speak the truth. Fear will hold the person back of what others may say, and of the consequences of invoking the forces of existence which will test in the circumstances of the life whoever utters such sacred declarations. I am a teacher of truth a realised consciousness of extraordinary depth and profundity. This is where my knowledge and clarity of life comes from. This is not personal or acquired knowledge but self-knowledge, the highest truth in existence.

What I impart is not a question of you or anyone liking or not liking, but to see if what I say is the truth. If it’s not, then fair enough you have no need of me. But for anyone who stays with my teaching, I will endeavour to help them go deeper into the mystery of their own psyche and confront whatever is compromising their joy and delight of life.


Have held the hand of a person who transitioned to Spirit two times in my life. Both were my husbands. There was Light surrounding them when they passed through, peaceful Light. Their bodies were no longer breathing or interacting, still there was a light that didn’t seem earthly. 

Light, in whatever way it appears, is symbolic of the reflection of consciousness in existence. Behind the senses the light of the spirit is utterly black, distinguished by having no trace of light from the external sun. Everything we perceive in the world has some light, even in a cave thousands of feet beneath the surface.

The light of love is synonymous with death as the essence of the creative process. At physical death the severing of the thread between the mortal and immortal realms creates a fusion effect, not unlike the splitting of the atom. Thus do people often witness a light emission from the body during the crossover point in the great cycle of life and death.


Lance, may I add that what you described is from the perspective of mind, hence you speak of going inside. When going inside you meet the thinking, feeling and sensing faculties of mind. From the perspective of awareness, inside means the void which we relate to as consciousness. While awareness relates to mind, it is not divided from consciousness, as consciousness is undivided. Awareness is functional within three-dimensional reality and we relate to consciousness as being formless potential, again when interpreted from the same functional three-dimensional reality. Really speaking, consciousness is undifferentiated. Hence consciousness is everything and everything is consciousness. Thanks for initiating…

The mind is an effect of consciousness, albeit the first effect. When the mind looks within towards the source of reality it gets everything back to front. The mind is limited to understanding and can only process information which has externalised in time. The timeless state of love and truth as original knowledge is beyond its depth of perception.

To access the state of consciousness, the mind must be quiescent. If I were to use my mind to try to make sense of the inner realm I’d be ineffective in my role as a spiritual teacher. When the mind is still and surrenders in humility to the inner mystery, the intellect is activated as the superior function of intelligence. The intellect operates in stillness as a perfect mirror of purified space. As mirror beings, we access reality through the reflected light of this eternal mirror which is consciousness. I go into the area of the mind and the intellect in many of my books and articles.

What you refer to as ‘perspective of awareness’ and ’three- dimensional reality’ is meaningless to me. Consciousness may indeed be everything and everything may be consciousness, but we must be able to bring such lofty realisations down to earth so as to live our truth in the practical world if we want to be of assistance to others.


How does someone banish negativity?

To begin to banish negativity is to completely accept that I, the individual, am responsible for everything that happens to my person while alive. Then it’s possible to accept without excuses that negativity such as moods, anger, resentment or blaming others for any unhappiness can no longer be justified. This is a mighty realisation when supported by the resolve to live this as a way of truth in the world.

An effective mantra for someone struggling to come to terms with a trauma or betrayal in love from the past would be: ‘There is no-one to blame, regardless of what’s happened in my life’. Emotional and psychological pain is the meeting point of the past and the present; anything unresolved from the past will create a disturbance in the present. To suffer rightly is to know the purpose of suffering, which only reveals itself through self observation. When inwardly contained and borne valiantly, the emotional negativity is eventually transformed back to love.

The most insidious obstacle to banishing negativity is self-judgement. Self-judgement begins by taking something out of context of the whole of life; for example, a judgement of not being good enough in comparison to another or not being worthy of love. The subtlety of self-judgement is also disguised in believing that it’s important to have an opinion and to have faith in something outside of one’s own integrity. When self-judgement is rampant, judgement of others will persist. This is because everything external reflects the personal self appearing in another form, position and time. Relationships and circumstances provide the opportunity to reduce the pleasure and pain of existence to the natural state of being.

Negativity is anything that disturbs the equilibrium of the body consciousness.The human mind creates negative thoughts for the emotional pain to enjoy itself in the personal space of the man or woman. When someone is still enough, it’s possible to identify a subtle excitation within the body just before this occurs. To perceive this in the moment has the effect of neutralising the emotional energy in the body. Emotion cannot move when contained by the focus of intelligence. The cleansing spiritual power is invoked in the absence of any feelings or movement of the mind.

There’ll be no shortage of opportunities to be more present and alert for those willing to persevere. Eventually, to banish negativity for good is to be vigilant every moment so that the troublesome self is halted in its tracks and willingly surrenders in humility to the mystery of life within.


I love my partner and am committed to our relationship. And I love my friends, too, in a different and I believe healthy way. I can also recall many instances observing people who, after consciously removing and attenuating friendships, saw their love-relationships fail in isolation. Don’t we really all need each other? Of course we desire the profound fulfillment of intimate, personal love, but won’t our potential as an evolving species be diminished if the only way to create that union comes at the expense of loving friends?

We must all live out our earthly existence in accordance with what we deem to be right. In other words, we cannot accept as truth what anyone says unless it’s true in our own experience. Friends of many years indeed have an important bearing on our development as human beings. But the fact that most friendships are based on personal love leads to attachment and the consideration of the feelings, which keeps a person trapped in the orbit of the past.

When I say that there’s no space for friends in a love relationship, I’m talking of a partnership that has divine purpose. In my own experience, friends naturally fell away as a reciprocal to a deepening realisation of real love. The process, which lasts for many years, is so intense and extreme that there’s no space for friends or anyone else to distract from this one-pointed focus. And yet, through it all, it’s still possible to interact with people and to be available to respond to events and situations as they happen in everyday life. The difference here is that the people who come into the life are usually there for a specific purpose. When the job’s done they may never be seen again, but there’s always a sense of gratitude in the knowledge that love and truth have been served in some way.

It’s by the way of things in the spiritual life that I must pass through the vast spectrum of human experience to be able to finally look back with infinite compassion on the plight of humanity and all life forms on the earth. The potential and evolution of the individual is not diminished at the expense of friends – just the opposite. It’s consciously living through the experience of friends with all of its joy, laughter, sadness, happiness and pathos that contributes to the broadness of spirit I am in each body.

Eventually, friends hinder the spiritual process. For how many friends could bear to surrender their personal feelings and emotional attachments? It’s not possible until the time is right for them. The point is that everything is perfect and happens in accordance with the consciousness of the being. It’s just leaving it up to life and acknowledging the good or the God whenever reminded during the busyness of the day.


A woman raises the question of forgiveness. 

I think we have to bring in forgiveness here. Ancestral and personal to foster any change. There are a couple of people that come to mind working on a global scale doing just that, Thomas Hubl and John Newton and my experience with their work has been profound. And the good news is, we have eternity to get to the place of what Lance writes so passionately about, being our true selves, love, all that is.

I’ll tell you a great truth, if I may Cindra. There’s nothing to forgive because you, or anyone else, haven’t done anything – you only think you have. This is not a personal life but life living through each one of us. Until this is realised, the person will be vulnerable to the vacillations of their emotional self. Tormented with guilt and self-doubt, people often pray to Jesus to forgive their ‘sins’, which is another terrible burden for humanity.

Regardless of what anyone does in the world, there’s an integrity behind every action that determines the next life sequence and the next as a continuity of cause and effect. What anyone does, and the consequences of their actions, is preserved in consciousness as an energetic impression of existence. There’s no greater justice than this since everybody is compelled to confront any past transgressions in time.

It’s a matter of being responsible for life and love on earth. This is the lesson for us all, isn’t it? Once I am responsible (which means being conscious of the purpose of life) there’s no movement to harm another or be wilful as a reaction to someone or something in the world. I can take the appropriate action without having to forgive anyone, because there’s no expectation for someone to act in any other way than they do.

It’s because people personalise their lives that they feel separate and fragmented from the whole of life. Eternity is now, symbolised by the physical presence of the body. But to leave the moment to think, for example that it’s necessary to forgive another, is an arrogance of the mind which keeps the individual in time and separate from the peace and equilibrium within the being.


How can we let go the attachment to orgasm when sexual orgasm is attachment in its strongest and most primal form? You think about doing it, you do it and then you think about having done it, all sequences of some form of attachment.  

Orgasm is natural when it happens as a conscious part of the sexual exchange between partners. There is then no sense of separation or isolation, which are common symptoms of post coital tristesse. As you say, the attachment to orgasm as the pinnacle of sensual pleasure is extremely compelling. So how can this primal drive be mastered in the approach to making love to our full potential as conscious individuals?

Firstly, someone must have a reached point of maturity where they’ve determined to be more real in the sense of making the search for purpose in their life a priority. The man or woman must have loved and suffered enough at the hands of unconscious sex to have drawn the line, so as to make possible an upsurge of a radical new energy as the resolve to be more responsible for life and love on earth.

The transformation of the sexual self begins with self-observation without judgment of the habitual patterns and drives of the human feeling self. For a man serious in realising his noble task in love, he must first examine how much sex rules his life in thinking about women’s parts and resist creating erotic scenarios in his mind; this feeds his attachment to the orgasmic delights and pleasure of the vagina. He must harness the wastage of his finest energies and contain (not suppress) his virtue, which is his integrity of spirit that he will call upon in his endeavour to love woman, his mate.

A man needs to be aware of the enormous privilege of loving a woman and be inwardly open to giving everything to delight his beloved. He must look to give and not to take for himself. In real love, where the lovers are conscious of the purpose of being together, orgasm takes care of itself. In normal lovemaking orgasm represents a conclusion to the act which limits the exchange to some form of ritual, which love certainly isn’t. Love is made in a conscious partnership every moment just being together in the practicalities of everyday affairs.

When making physical love, there’s a point when the pleasure peaks and the dominant sense is that an orgasm is inevitable. But it’s not true. This is the point which represents the departure from the purely animalistic drive to self-conscious cognitive human beings. Here a man, if he’s willing, is able to invoke his innate spirituality to unite with the creative principle as a direct experience of life. This is not suppression or control but an action of consciousness and total engagement with the immediacy of love in the flesh.

What happens is that, with the mind disengaged, the speed of intelligence outdistances the primal instinctual drive to ejaculate, and the consciousness merges as the power of creation through the action of divine union in the flesh. This containment of beauty and enhanced pleasure is the means through which love is consciously realised between man and woman. In this way, attachment to orgasm is transcended as pure knowledge of love within the purified space of the being. The man is then able to impart this quality of original love through his body in sexual union with woman, which fulfills his sacred function as the male principle on earth.


A lady writes after reading the article: ‘Love Supreme’

You’re a MAN. Stick to that. I’ve been drugged, used, abused and told I’m a liar, drama queen, crazy, liar, and slut and of course I must hate myself. Quite the contrary, I’m just sick of sex offenders being everywhere, teen porn, teen sex dolls, sex dolls, etc…Sir, I speak from my heart and for victims of this type of mind entrapment. I showed my therapist, a lady, your article and she agreed with me. Hey you wanna face chat there Lance?? People can talk a lot of trash in words but it’s hard to do looking in my eyes. You can’t lie.

What do you suppose would happen if instead of always looking for the reflection of your pain in the world you began to acknowledge the good and started giving your sweet nature instead of your emotional unhappiness of the past? Are you so bereft of love so as not to be grateful for something other than your wilful self? So you have been used and abused by man. You’re not special, for the life of every woman on earth has been degraded and spoilt by man and his sexual self in some way. I understand your torment and anger at being abused at the hands of man; but if you’re serious in making a contribution to love on earth, and for the plight of woman, please listen to what I have to say.

In your innocence you’ve become possessed by the unconscious force of sex. This is a male-induced energy which is an intense band of emotion, a psychosis in every woman which externalises as negative behavioural traits in varying degrees. Through focusing on the effects of sexual deviancy, such as ‘sniffing out paedophiles’, you feed the psychic possession of sex within your own subconscious. This distorts the perception of life and reaffirms the psychic entity’s hold on you and is ready to erupt as a torrent of hostility when provoked.

Yes I’m a man, but obviously unlike any you’ve encountered before. This is because I serve love and am not deflected or perturbed by your emotional self. Usually when people love, they want something in return and get upset when their expectations don’t match up, and so have to be disabused of their false notions of love. Man, unless he truly loves woman and serves the female principle behind the form, will be unable to confront and handle woman’s emotionality. To man, woman’s emotion is hell on earth, which unbeknown to him is his own male sexual energy coming back to afflict him, and his shame for his failure to love.

Virtually all men are slaves to the unconscious energy of sex. This sexual entity is conscious of its actions, but the individual man is not, although he must ultimately be made responsible. Even the most heinous sexual predator is held to account for his actions, if not immediately then in time. The terrible injustice and misery worldwide that afflicts so many is an aspect of humanity’s abdication of responsibility as a race. Fortunately, it’s only necessary to confront what’s been apportioned in any individual life.

The tension, anxiety and rage a woman feels as her emotions is because they are alien to her essential nature, which is pure love. She must somehow starve out this negative force that has possessed her and ruined her life. She does this by refusing to compromise with man’s sexual demands and with the affliction of her emotional self. As the embodiment of love on earth, woman in her sensitivity is extremely vulnerable to the forces of the world, an appalling man-made structure of hardness superimposed upon the simplicity of the earth. The only hope for love on earth is woman. She must know man, and be in command of love by knowing what she doesn’t want through having experienced life, and lived and loved as best she could.


Why do you say that imagination isn’t necessary in the spiritual life?

Imagination is the curse of humanity but rarely perceived as such. As self-reflective beings, we’re able to formulate pictures in the mind which are abstract energetic particles of thought. The primary purpose of this is to develop ideas or to assess a situation in the practical affairs of the world. When action is taken it dissolves the thought images, leaving the mind still and receptive to the new. However, when images are allowed to link up with associated impressions from the past, the energised particles of thought are unable to be eliminated and clog up the psychic system. Over time, this creates inner tension and heightens the need for a visual affirmation to substantiate the feeling of being alive.

Why is imagination so destructive of the peace of mind we all strive to attain? It’s because every negative emotional condition relies on imagination to keep the mind focused on the pain of the past. When someone imagines a beautiful scene or some pleasurable experience, the psyche is compelled to release an opposite negative effect to compensate for the induced positive feelings. This will usually manifest within a few days as a bout of worry or depression, with the person unable to desist from replaying some disturbing event from the past or imagining a distressing situation that could happen in the future.

Visualisation and other psychic devices that involve imagination are equally detrimental to the purity of the psyche. It’s because of the absence of any real knowledge that children are encouraged to use their imagination at school. This is not to blame anyone as the use of imagination is unavoidable in the early development. It’s important not to stifle it but to keep the children grounded in the physical senses, and especially to introduce them to the wonders of the natural world. It’s only when sufficiently seasoned by life that an individual, if they are willing, is able to transcend the imagination and live as a being in the present without any emotional distortion of the mind.

Imagination is most destructive when stoked by the full intensity of sexual fantasising. As an indulgence of the mind and emotions, imagination upsets the psychic balance by taking from it for personal gain and satisfaction and giving nothing back in return. However, spontaneous images that appear in the mind, such as a scene from childhood or someone from the past, are random and unavoidable. As an exercise in self-mastery, it’s important to be present and swift enough to catch the image and not allow the next frame to run. A thought is not thinking, and any image will disintegrate when held motionless by the focus of pure intelligence.

It’s often said that an artist, writer or designer who creates something unique and outstanding must have a great imagination. But is this really the case? No imagination is necessary when immersed in the total absorption of the creative act itself. Before any creative work begins there has to be an idea. An idea is complete unto itself with no need for embellishment. To the degree that an artist, or anyone, is able to replicate an idea in its pristine state in the world, the greater the originality in any creative work. With a still mind, he or she is in a state of receptivity to the well of inspiration within the body. When this focus of perception is applied as a way of life to encompass the whole living experience, it’s then possible to tap into a unique pool of creativity that is the energetic idea behind the body sustaining the living life.


A man asks:

Are you saying that sex is a hindrance to love or that going into sex with Awareness/ Consciousness is precisely the path to love, as Osho puts it?

The hindrance is not sex – that’s just the sexual self passing the buck – but the man or woman’s attachment to the selfish drive for personal satisfaction. Sex then isolates the potential for union with love by taking for itself and holding back from giving all in the exchange. Eastern teachings can only reach so far and are unable to penetrate the core of resistance of the western mind. Where love is taught in the East, the followers in the West turn it into sex, as happened to many of the sannyasins of Rajneesh.

Can you elaborate on what happens when we get sexual thoughts?

A thought is not thinking and random images are unavoidable. It’s when two thoughts are allowed to run together in sequence that thinking begins. Sexual thoughts as erotic picturing and fantasying stir the core of the emotional body. This entity of self consists of all of the negative effects of every past hurt and disappointment gathered through the experience of living since birth. The unhappy body of self arises from sex as an emotionally charged, immature spasm to experience sensual existence, whatever the cost in human suffering and pain. I go into this subject and how to transform the sexual self to love in my many articles on love and relationships and books on the spiritual process.


How do you think such thoughts would be manifested in a person who’s never had sex before, but still lusts? His thoughts would be devoid of substance as he’s fantasising about things he has no physical experience in.

Yes, it’s true that the emotions will not have the substance that experience brings. But the manifestation of sexual thoughts and lusting is due to the accumulative experience of humanity since time began. The fascination with sex is the overriding preoccupation of everyone born. Thus the sexual past of humanity energetically gravitates to the minds of even the youngest.


A  man writes in response to the article ‘Mission Impossible’

If I had a Conversation with God I would ask Her if the ‘self’ is intrinsically unwilling to join Consciousness or simply fell prey to an illusion … looks like you bet on the former

The self has no knowledge of consciousness, knowing only what it has experienced in its time within the body. Consciousness never moves and is the stationary side of existence. On the familiar motional side of existence, everything is self appearing as the divisive sensory world. These are the two sides of existence. The spiritual task is to somehow entice the normally outward fixated intelligence to turn inwards to unite with the source of life.

To know my self as a realised state of consciousness is to have access at any time to the self-knowledge of the entire life’s experience. This is the realisation of immortality as union with life everlasting. The suffering and dissolution of the self endured by the individual is hardly an illusion. It’s an arduous, painful and protracted procedure, as every mystic or lover of truth will testify. This world is a projection in sense of a more enduring inner realm – an actuality of doing in time and space which gives validity to the stationary reality of consciousness behind the appearance of form.

The self doesn’t ‘die’ in the spiritual process of dissolution. It eventually surrenders its willfulness to the all-pervading nothing or absence of experience which is God. The self is then aligned with the Divine Will, which is the agency of spirit in matter.


A woman writes in response to the article ‘Celibacy: The Betrayal of Love’

This is profoundly true yet do you believe this mutual act of recognition can be realized by one of the partners being aware of this higher truth or is it only best realised through couples who share a higher level of soul connection, and I do not mean to say it in a discriminating manner as all beings are equally sacred yet I believe that when two individuals are mutually aware of the sacredness of this union only then it can become this life sustaining experience

In a partnership, someone of a higher consciousness will raise the other to a comparable state of consciousness, if they are willing. But there’s no guarantee, as in any other partnership, as to whether such a relationship will continue or the degree of transformation. Love is a mighty principle of intelligence, and in a partnership which puts honesty to love first, and where each refuses to submit to the normal emotional attachments to defend their pain and unhappiness, each will gain in consciousness as a consequence of their coming together in love.

A man questions the validity of facing his sexual self as mentioned in the article ‘Man’s Noble Task in Love.’


The point is definitely not about man being able to confront his sexual self but the subsequent approval or affirmation from the opposite sex..

To confront the sexual self is to take responsibility for love on earth. Man’s true authority, regardless of his worldly position, is realised through his power to love. The abdication of being responsible for love manifests in a man as sex obsession, frustration, restlessness wealth gathering, and unconscious lovemaking, through which he perpetuates the ignorance and suffering of life on earth.

It’s not about approval or affirmation from the opposite sex but something far more real and enduring. What every man yearns for, above all things, is the accolade from ‘She’, the female principle of supreme beauty that is God in existence; this is behind the form of every woman on earth. The accolade she bestows is her recognition of man’s noble endeavour to love her rightly and selflessly without taking anything for himself. But this can only happen when he has confronted his sexual self.


I have heard that semen can turn toxic if not released…do you have any insight on this?

It’s emotional negativity such as anger, hate, jealousy and resentment which turns toxic if not released as the surrender to God or life. The mind always avoids the central issue and focuses on things which have no real meaning, other than to satisfy its intellectual curiosity.

Semen is a secretion of the sexual glands and functions beautifully when allowed to respond to the natural flow of the body. Anomalies could arise, I suspect, where there is suppression to having an orgasm, but I’m not aware of anything specific regarding the toxic effect of semen


Hi Lance Kelly

 I remember, when I was around twenty years old, staying at a hermitage. Me and my brother were installing insulation in one of the rooms when we got into a disagreement. He got really upset with me…. He’s had a hard life. Anyway I remember going down deep in myself and thinking everywhere I go it’s always the same situation / confrontation. All of a sudden I was blinded by a light and I was that light. The whole world had disappeared. There was only love and peace. I knew at that moment that death was an illusion. I don’t remember leaving the room after that.  I kind of forgot about it, until recently, when I started reading a course in miracles, and listening to Eckhart Tolle. My question to you would be… What exactly was it that I touched and that touched me? I’ve lived my life in a state of deference to the world. My only prayer was that we be given the strength to get through this life. But now I’m reading about the awakening and how it’s our purpose in life, is to awaken. To realize that the journey, the destination, is within, and that it is who we are. There is nowhere to go. We are already arrived.

A) What you touched upon was the Lord – the Lord in matter within all things in existence. I had a similar experience over twenty-five years ago in London. When the self collapses in surrender to life or God, the formless reality within the body is able to shine through. The immediacy of such an experience changes the life irrevocably. However, blinding lights only happen in the darkness of ignorance until, eventually, the inner space is restored to its original purity. It can take many years for the inner apparatus to adjust in frequency to the spiritual octave of the realisation. You forgot about the experience because knowledge of the spirit is energetic and cannot be remembered. The spirit never repeats itself, because anything which originates from the timeless realm is a participation with reality. The self and individual consciousness merge with the incoming spirit as a unity of being. Once enlightened it is forever and can never be taken away. It is you and you are that. But the idea of life on earth is not solely about realisation but to bring that extraordinary power of truth into the living world.

What has happened recently in you is a response to the inner calling of the spirit. This has been mirrored in the external events, as you have described. The idea now is to find a teaching and to live it, if it’s the truth for you. Then it is your truth, which will serve to direct your life to bring you closer to your own uniqueness as a being of the earth.


A woman asked the following question after reading one of my articles:

Can you please elaborate on depression and women? Because it is so true. If I cannot share love with a man because his heart is closed, I also close mine. I get angry, frustrated, so fired up I want to cry and just give up. Give up everything. What a world, I think then. What a world when love comes last after duty and work…. I get mean. To myself, my kids. I lock down my own sensuality and it creates such pressure in me. All the strength it takes to lock down the serpent, makes me unable to feel love. I then mistrust the whole world and hate myself and all men. But what to do? Sometimes a man is also hurt and he needs time to unlock his heart. What do I do with this sexuality of mine in the meantime? I don’t want to get rejected all the time and I also don’t want to cheat. Because I love the guy and respect his heart. So what do I do? This is usually when I get depressed.

A) Why do you stay with a man whose ‘heart is closed’? It wasn’t closed in those first raptures of love when you first met – unless you thought you could change him. But this rarely happens. It’s not enough to say that you love each other. The question is: does the man love you enough to break through his resistance and fear to love? You have to be realistic since love is very practical and begins with honesty and open communication between partners. Unless this is established at the beginning of any relationship, then it’s doomed to fail through compromise and personal attachment.

You say you get angry and frustrated. This obviously is not right. Woman only gets emotional when she’s not being loved. This is why she ‘locks down’ and is unable to connect with her own love and sensuality, which she then suppresses. The result is a build-up of pressure and spasmodic outbursts of anger and rage. Man doesn’t need time to ‘unlock his heart’. He just needs to overcome his independence now and embrace the beloved in his openness to love. But you, as woman, must have the discrimination to see when time is up, having given him every opportunity to come forward to love you. The emotional reaction in a woman to man’s lack of love at every level is her self-doubt, which then becomes an emotional centre and the seat of her depression.

There is purpose to relationships beyond the normal experience of raising a family and working long hours for financial security. It’s to be disabused of the false notions of love. Love is not a personal affair based on feelings and attachment, which is the emotional way of life devised by the world. The question is: have you suffered enough and realised what you do not want and are prepared to make a stand for love.

Man has failed just about every time in his endeavour to reach woman in her deepest centre in lovemaking. Consequently she’s the only hope for love on earth. She must refuse to compromise with the emotional demands of man ever again. But she can only do this when she’s no longer prepared to settle for anything that would sully her love. A woman must realise that it serves no purpose to life to be in a partnership where there’s no communication of love or the continual demonstration of the sheer pleasure of being together. This serves no purpose, except to perpetuate misery and discontent in the home and family life.

But it’s not to lose heart, for there’s no failure in love. Each relationship changes us in a spiritually productive way, regardless of personal feelings and the mind’s interpretation of things. Man is a loving creature, but only a woman who is in command of love can help him to realise his noble purpose. And this begins with honesty at every level of human relationships.
My e-book ‘Making Love Real’ is to be published later this year which will offer advice and guidance in relationships, and how to make love more real and enduring in partnerships.


A man questions some fundamental points in my article ‘Spirituality’.

This sounds a very linear almost subjective (personal) reckoning by someone who has started to imagine what would be required of themselves if they were to become spiritual. To be spiritual is to be “Self” aware and the rest is that particular Self’s business and that Self will walk its own unique spiritual path. Know thy self and all will be known to you.

The truth never changes. It’s always disagreeable to the mind.


 A woman asks: Lance Kelly – Are you in a successful long-term relationship?

Well, I live with the most beautiful woman on earth. But then, doesn’t every man who truly loves a woman and recognises the beauty in her? My partner and I have been together for over twenty years in an extraordinary romance which has no end.

I would question, however, your use of the word ‘successful’. How do you measure success in a relationship, or indeed anything undertaken in this existence where everyone and everything eventually disappears back to dust? The right word is purpose. Does my relationship with the one I love and live with have purpose?

Purpose endures whereas success is fleeting, which soon turns to boredom and the striving to be more successful in something else. Unless a man or woman loves with purpose, any relationship is doomed to the living death of compromise and mediocrity. To love with purpose is to love God first as something greater than myself before any man or woman. It’s to acknowledge the privilege of loving the beloved as the principle of God in existence.

Purpose begins with honesty, which does not consider the feelings of another but is true to the situation of a partnership. This is to enjoy being with each other every moment spent together and dying to the right to be anything but vulnerable to love’s mystery. My partner keeps me straight through her devotion to the invisible but all-pervading truth behind the form. She is God in female form to me. I serve her, as she serves me, in my love of God and the endeavour to be more worthy of this blessed gift to serve love as my life.