A selection of questions and my replies:
Hi Lance Kelly
Q) I remember, when I was around twenty years old, staying at a hermitage. Me and my brother were installing insulation in one of the rooms when we got into a disagreement. He got really upset with me…. He’s had a hard life. Anyway I remember going down deep in myself and thinking everywhere I go it’s always the same situation / confrontation. All of a sudden I was blinded by a light and I was that light. The whole world had disappeared. There was only love and peace. I knew at that moment that death was an illusion. I don’t remember leaving the room after that. I kind of forgot about it, until recently, when I started reading a course in miracles, and listening to Eckhart Tolle. My question to you would be… What exactly was it that I touched and that touched me? I’ve lived my life in a state of deference to the world. My only prayer was that we be given the strength to get through this life. But now I’m reading about the awakening and how it’s our purpose in life, is to awaken. To realize that the journey, the destination, is within, and that it is who we are. There is nowhere to go. We are already arrived.
A) What you touched upon was the Lord – the Lord in matter within all things in existence. I had a similar experience over twenty-five years ago in London. When the self collapses in surrender to life or God, the formless reality within the body is able to shine through. The immediacy of such an experience changes the life irrevocably. However, blinding lights only happen in the darkness of ignorance until, eventually, the inner space is restored to its original purity. It can take many years for the inner apparatus to adjust in frequency to the spiritual octave of the realisation. You forgot about the experience because knowledge of the spirit is energetic and cannot be remembered. The spirit never repeats itself, because anything which originates from the timeless realm is a participation with reality. The self and individual consciousness merge with the incoming spirit as a unity of being. Once enlightened it is forever and can never be taken away. It is you and you are that. But the idea of life on earth is not solely about realisation but to bring that extraordinary power of truth into the living world.
What has happened recently in you is a response to the inner calling of the spirit. This has been mirrored in the external events, as you have described. The idea now is to find a teaching and to live it, if it’s the truth for you. Then it is your truth, which will serve to direct your life to bring you closer to your own uniqueness as a being of the earth.
A woman asked the following question after reading one of my articles:
Q) Can you please elaborate on depression and women? Because it is so true. If I cannot share love with a man because his heart is closed, I also close mine. I get angry, frustrated, so fired up I want to cry and just give up. Give up everything. What a world, I think then. What a world when love comes last after duty and work…. I get mean. To myself, my kids. I lock down my own sensuality and it creates such pressure in me. All the strength it takes to lock down the serpent, makes me unable to feel love. I then mistrust the whole world and hate myself and all men. But what to do? Sometimes a man is also hurt and he needs time to unlock his heart. What do I do with this sexuality of mine in the meantime? I don’t want to get rejected all the time and I also don’t want to cheat. Because I love the guy and respect his heart. So what do I do? This is usually when I get depressed.
A) Why do you stay with a man whose ‘heart is closed’? It wasn’t closed in those first raptures of love when you first met – unless you thought you could change him. But this rarely happens. It’s not enough to say that you love each other. The question is: does the man love you enough to break through his resistance and fear to love? You have to be realistic since love is very practical and begins with honesty and open communication between partners. Unless this is established at the beginning of any relationship, then it’s doomed to fail through compromise and personal attachment.
You say you get angry and frustrated. This obviously is not right. Woman only gets emotional when she’s not being loved. This is why she ‘locks down’ and is unable to connect with her own love and sensuality, which she then suppresses. The result is a build-up of pressure and spasmodic outbursts of anger and rage. Man doesn’t need time to ‘unlock his heart’. He just needs to overcome his independence now and embrace the beloved in his openness to love. But you, as woman, must have the discrimination to see when time is up, having given him every opportunity to come forward to love you. The emotional reaction in a woman to man’s lack of love at every level is her self-doubt, which then becomes an emotional centre and the seat of her depression.
There is purpose to relationships beyond the normal experience of raising a family and working long hours for financial security. It’s to be disabused of the false notions of love. Love is not a personal affair based on feelings and attachment, which is the emotional way of life devised by the world. The question is: have you suffered enough and realised what you do not want and are prepared to make a stand for love.
Man has failed just about every time in his endeavour to reach woman in her deepest centre in lovemaking. Consequently she’s the only hope for love on earth. She must refuse to compromise with the emotional demands of man ever again. But she can only do this when she’s no longer prepared to settle for anything that would sully her love. A woman must realise that it serves no purpose to life to be in a partnership where there’s no communication of love or the continual demonstration of the sheer pleasure of being together. This serves no purpose, except to perpetuate misery and discontent in the home and family life.
But it’s not to lose heart, for there’s no failure in love. Each relationship changes us in a spiritually productive way, regardless of personal feelings and the mind’s interpretation of things. Man is a loving creature, but only a woman who is in command of love can help him to realise his noble purpose. And this begins with honesty at every level of human relationships.
My e-book ‘Making Love Real’ is to be published later this year which will offer advice and guidance in relationships, and how to make love more real and enduring in partnerships.
A man questions some fundamental points in my article ‘Spirituality’.
Q) This sounds a very linear almost subjective (personal) reckoning by someone who has started to imagine what would be required of themselves if they were to become spiritual. To be spiritual is to be “Self” aware and the rest is that particular Self’s business and that Self will walk its own unique spiritual path. Know thy self and all will be known to you.
A) I present a comprehensive spiritual teaching for the times. I make the socially questionable area of love and lovemaking a fundamental aspect of this teaching – guaranteed to inflame the minority-driven western culture. The truth I present is only the truth to me. But it makes sense and can be practically applied by someone looking to live a more conscious way of life. Everything I say or write pushes a subconscious button to agitate and disturb the body of the emotional self. This is to bring to the surface the residual ignorance of the person so that the truth of the matter can be exposed in the light of day.
Where I come from the truth never changes. It’s always disagreeable to the mind.
Q) A woman asks: Lance Kelly – Are you in a successful long-term relationship?
A) Well, I live with the most beautiful woman on earth. But then, doesn’t every man who truly loves a woman and recognises the beauty in her? My partner and I have been together for over twenty years in an extraordinary romance which has no end.
I would question, however, your use of the word ‘successful’. How do you measure success in a relationship, or indeed anything undertaken in this existence where everyone and everything eventually disappears back to dust? The right word is purpose. Does my relationship with the one I love and live with have purpose?
Purpose endures whereas success is fleeting, which soon turns to boredom and the striving to be more successful in something else. Unless a man or woman loves with purpose, any relationship is doomed to the living death of compromise and mediocrity. To love with purpose is to love God first as something greater than myself before any man or woman. It’s to acknowledge the privilege of loving the beloved as the principle of God in existence.
Purpose begins with honesty, which does not consider the feelings of another but is true to the situation of a partnership. This is to enjoy being with each other every moment spent together and dying to the right to be anything but vulnerable to love’s mystery. My partner keeps me straight through her devotion to the invisible but all-pervading truth behind the form. She is God in female form to me. I serve her, as she serves me, in my love of God and the endeavour to be more worthy of this blessed gift to serve love as my life.