May 24, 2018 3 By Lance Kelly

As the search for truth becomes the predominant way of life, an individual is compelled to examine their relationships with a greater discrimination. Friendships are important when growing up to help prepare for life beyond the family orbit through the depth of experience that only relationships with others can provide. But it’s not necessary, and usually an impediment to the spiritual development of someone, to hold onto the same friends for a lifetime.

There’s a time for friends and the pleasure of being with like-minded individuals. Friendships based on shared interests and compatible levels of self-knowledge operate subconsciously, and continue where there’s a recognition of each other’s emotional needs. However, the warmth and congeniality of like-minded friends creates a perimeter of emotional energy which is psychically substantive to the self and spiritually unproductive. Friendships in ashrams or spiritual communities often reinforce the exclusivity of being different to ordinary people not following their particular path. Inevitably, the attachment to their way of life collides with the circumstances of life outside the protective enclave of their community, and the person struggles to adapt to relationships with others in the world.

Spiritual power is a restorative energy of original purity. When a man or woman begins to emanate this presence, the first thing that happens is that friends begin to fall away. This is inevitable at a certain phase in the spiritual process. As the intelligence speeds up, the experience which once provided the pleasure as social interaction with others is no longer as enjoyable as before. The charade of the personality that people wear in the world is perceived to be false and discarded. Friends begin to say you’ve lost your old sparkle, which means they can no longer relate to the new you as the authentic being behind the mask. In most instances, friendships are based on personal love and talking about the past. When consciously present in the senses, any association is more impersonal and based on knowledge of purpose through the immediacy of the moment.

At a spiritual octave, loyalty is the true value of friendship but not as an obligation to anyone or anything. This is measured by how another is served through edifying the consciousness through self-sacrifice and devotion to the welfare of that individual. Sometimes a friend appears in times of tragedy and hardship but disappears soon after. Angels are amongst us as ordinary people who demonstrate the spiritual excellence of humanity, often at times of greatest loss. Loyalty transcends personal friendship when there’s nothing to gain except the pure action of love for another’s need. This is personified in the mother who selflessly bears the pain in childbirth. Who could possibly not be grateful for such love, regardless of what has to follow in the drama and difficulties of living?

Friends are the death of love in a partnership. When there’s the continual acknowledgement of the privilege of being together and the total immersion into the profundity of each other’s bodies, it leaves no space for friends or anyone else to distract from love’s purpose. This is not attachment, nor does it mean a cutting off from necessary interactions with other people. It takes great energy to support a personal friendship, which depletes the vitality needed to go all the way in love with the partner. If you don’t think this is so, then love is not yet the most important thing in the life.

Ultimately, however, I am alone and not dependent on anyone or anything – even a body – to provide for my sense of being. Love is the total immersion in the sensuality of life on earth. This original state of being transcends the senses, yet is still a conscious presence in existence that endeavours to serve my beloved man and woman.