Making Love Real E-Book
The new e-book ‘Making Love Real’ is now available on Amazon Kindle.
Extract from the book:
Relationships: Living Love or Living Hell
To live together in harmony in an untroubled state of love is, for most, a romantic ideal or perhaps an unworkable proposition. Relationships collapse so frequently, leaving feelings of bitterness and resentment in their wake. In the beginning when two lovers are irresistibly attracted to each other, both merge into the extraordinarily beautiful state of love. However, the vibrancy usually begins to wane when partners settle down to a way of life based on sentimentality, comfort and convenience.
The two major factors leading to the deterioration of love are: the absence of purpose in the partnership; and dishonesty arising from the fear of confronting any emotional disturbance. Love is a practical affair and begins with honesty and open communication between people. Unless this is established at the beginning of any relationship, it will be difficult for love to flourish as the challenges of being together intensify. The attraction between lovers has a psychic or spiritual value that is initiated after making physical love for the first time. This invokes events that will test the resolve of the lovers as they endeavour to preserve their union against the forces of the world.
As soon as the period when the lovemaking and total absorption with each other begins to wane, the hellish emotions of the past arise. The first sign of trouble is often brushed aside as the first tiff, but it’s not long before a more serious misunderstanding occurs. Then instead of just two bodies making love and enjoying each other’s presence, there are two selves looking to justify their anger and discontent. When given free reign, the emotional force is vented against each other as a palliative to temporarily clear the air – and often then followed by making love. It’s a pattern which repeats itself until a radical change happens to bring one or both to their senses.
When partners consider each other’s feelings at the expense of honesty, they become attached emotionally and psychologically to the fear of being parted. To go beyond the limitations of personal love can be traumatic and extremely distressing. And this is the experience, more or less, of anyone who’s had to be true in a relationship where dishonesty to love could no longer be tolerated. An example is a partner who is unwilling or unable to address persistent negative behaviour. Then there’s usually no choice but to leave, even though there may still be feelings for the other. When two people come together, they have a unique opportunity to each give to the other something of great value to their life. Even if things don’t work out as planned, each relationship changes us, often in a spiritually productive way, regardless of the mind’s interpretation of the situation.
People often continue in a relationship which is making them unhappy for fear of condemnation by friends and family should they decide to move on. For a woman particularly, the prospect of losing financial support is another barrier that can keep her attached to the past while love withers and fades from the life. When a woman is true to love, she knows that to perpetuate a dishonest partnership with man is not serving him or the purpose of love. This is the innate knowledge within every woman, but her self-doubt and fear of reprisals by the man often inhibit her from pointing out what’s making her emotional and confused.
A relationship becomes living hell when the pain of the past is projected onto the partner in the present. But this hell is only necessary until partners are willing to expose the cause. This takes searing honesty to address, but is the fundamental difference between having purpose in the relationship or otherwise continuing in an emotionally volatile situation. A partnership becomes living love when two people are dedicated to keeping the space between them free of any emotional negativity. Then, the original power of attraction that brought them together can come to fruition in the service of a higher love within them both.