For today’s teenagers, the peer pressure to experiment with sex can be immense. It’s always been this way, but due to the explicit nature of sexual content on the internet the emotional intensity is now charged with a greater urgency than before. The direct current of the world is the demand for immediate self-gratification, represented by the push-button instantaneous communication of the technological age. The pause for inner reflection has been largely superseded by the manic drive for experience, whatever the cost in human dignity. This is the energy of sexual force, disguised most cunningly through the epitome of beauty in the eyes of the world. Glamour is the seductress of both the mind and the body.
The teenage boy or girl is physically prepared at puberty to reproduce love and life in the flesh. As to whether they are psychologically and emotionally prepared is another matter. As the energy of the pure sexuality enters the body, its effect is to immediately transform the unhappiness of the emotional pain and anxieties gathered since birth. It’s not just the hormones but the converging of the reproductive vitality with the emotional body which accounts for the teenager’s rebellious attitude to authority that so often characterises the adolescent stage of development. With virtually no knowledge of the difference between love and sex, the force of emotional negativity prevails into adulthood as a background vibration of tension and anxiety. Sexual excitement and experimentation propel the teenager through this often confusing and bewildering period, together with the realisation that mum and dad don’t know everything after all.
Making love for the first time is tremendously significant since it only happens once in a lifetime. The neurosis and difficulties in subsequent relationships encountered in many partnerships can often be traced back to this first experience in love. Before sex became the overriding force in existence, the virgin girl knew all about love as the inherent knowledge of her female nature. With no fear or emotional corruption to distort her perception, she was spiritually mature in love even though inexperienced in the actual physical union. Similarly, a young man was raised with deep respect for the female principle and imbued with adoration of her beauty in form. Implicit in this was the knowledge of the privilege of loving her in the flesh.
Modern society’s tolerance and acceptance of the variations of sexual orientation, such as homosexuality and transgenderism, have created many problems for young people today despite the positive effects of breaking down the root attitudes and prejudices of the masses. The pubescent mind on the cusp of adulthood is highly receptive to the sexual influences of the human psyche, which consists of the total experience of humanity since the beginning of time. Whatever’s been put into the psyche as experience of life returns to the surface of the sensory world. With sexual promiscuity and self-gratification being the dominant impulse for thousands of years, the degradation of the purity of love is compounded by every new generation. Very few people are born homosexual; but it does happen and is usually distinguished by the male physical appearance in a woman’s body and female appearance in the man. The trigger for the preference of homosexuality may have been instigated by the interference of the person as a baby or young child. With the emphasis on sexual liberation, young people are inclined to try what’s socially fashionable and many become hooked – and so abandon the original state of love between the genders.
Here’s what I would suggest to any teenager who asked for advice on love and relationships. Firstly it’s to recognise that it’s a privilege to make love and enter another body in the intimacy of physical union. For a young man, it’s to acknowledge the beauty of the female as a total immersion of her sensual fragrance, and to communicate the pleasure and joy he feels when he caresses and enters her body in love. A young woman is more likely, although not always, to be more attuned to the subtlety of love and intuitively aware of the deeper purpose of the sexual exchange between partners. She can assist the young man through keeping him conscious and present during lovemaking. Most lovers tend to bliss out on the sheer pleasure created by the initial contact of the bodies. The idea is to be receptive to the moment as a conscious participation with the act of love itself.
However, it’s futile to deny any teenager the experience they need of the highs and inevitable lows of making sexual love. They must suffer as everyone does who ventures to love in the flesh. But they needn’t suffer any longer than is necessary should the guidance and loving wisdom be available from those who, in maturity, have realised the purpose of love – at least to the degree that they can make some worthwhile contribution to those who must follow.
Extract from e-book ‘Making Love Real’
To be published Spring 2019