Where Did Our Love Go?

When lovers first meet, and for the relatively short time thereafter, the vibrancy and magnetic intensity of the other’s presence is all-sustaining. Nothing else is needed to embellish what can only be described as heaven on earth. But in most people’s experience in their relationships, love invariably begins to wane in time. So where did love go?

It is not love that goes, but that man and woman leave love. They do this in subtle ways to start. It begins with the first utterance that has the taint of self as demand or impatience. If this passes unchecked, the emotional residue lingers and is compounded the next time one or the other becomes emotional or indifferent in their manner. These are the early warning signs of love diminishing as the power to offset the forces of the world. Love is powerless to retain its presence in a partnership unless, from the outset, there is a clear understanding of what being together in love truly entails at the conscious level of mind. This takes great honesty and courage to address in the moment anything that would sully the space between them.

The fundamental error in love relationships is that woman invariably puts her man before God, and man puts sex before love. Woman is man’s salvation when she puts God before personal security and happiness. She then serves the principle or source of love, which is behind the attraction and external appearance of loved ones and forms. This imbues woman with impersonal love, enabling her to discern when she is being undermined or when love is absent in the actions of others around her, particularly with her man. A man who recognises such a depth of love in a woman, and is prepared to come forward to be with her in this rarefied space, demonstrates his worthiness and is raised in the power of spirit.

When people make love in an emotionally excitable way, although the experience can be sensually satisfying, the after-effects linger and contribute to the demise of love between partners. This is because the emotional charge of the exchange overwhelms the purity of love, which is then unable to sustain a conscious presence within the body. This is not to suggest that there is not love between them which can be deep and profound. But what would naturally unite the lovers within the consciousness as pure and sustaining love becomes a personal and fragmented affair. This creates the need to substantiate the union with an external force to ensure they can go on. The name of this bond is attachment.

The basis of attachment is fear – the fear of losing the other regardless of the pain and suffering endured. When love appears to be leaving between couples, a replica version of the original state is created within the subconscious. They then stay together, not through a shared sense of purpose of being immersed in the profundity of love but by duty and sentimental values – always hoping that they may somehow rekindle what they once shared. Compromise becomes necessary to offset the other’s lack of demonstrable love as their worldly interests, work and familiarity become predominant features of the life together. No wonder it’s often citied in popular songs that ‘something inside seems to have died’ and ‘where did our love go?’

To endure, love needs to be made real, which means as a conscious resource of power. Love is made real when it’s acknowledged, such as the privilege of being in existence and gratitude for the reflection of love shown in others, whether or not they eventually go. This simple action, when sincerely offered, connects with something greater than the personal self. Personal love breeds dishonesty because it’s self-serving in the preservation of its own agenda and survival. The person gives only so much and holds back from going all the way in love, since this would be the cessation of personal love.

In the surrender to the source of life arises impersonal love – divine being with no fixed agenda, only the spontaneous action of being responsible every moment for life and love on earth. Love never leaves where it can reside untroubled or remain undisturbed by the turbulent forces of the world.