Marilyn: Extract from Autobiography

I first met Marilyn in 1984. As previously mentioned, she was married to Brian, my brother’s business partner. We got along well but there was no overt attraction or anything to indicate what would happen in the years that followed. It’s one of those strange anomalies of this existence that the deepest and most meaningful relationships in love often come to fruition after knowing someone for many years, although perhaps at a distance. This was certainly true for us. What I had registered, however, was a subtle quality in her which I couldn’t put into words at the time. I later realised that this was the indefinable spiritual essence of the female principle, the reality behind the formal appearance of every woman embodied on earth.

As a child, Marilyn had a deep connection with the earth and was always on the lookout for a reflection of nature in the built-up environment of outer London where she lived. When she was about ten years’ old she had the idea of taking some of the younger children in her street to a place where she’d previously noticed an area of grassland with an inviting copse of trees. She wanted them to experience the joys of nature and the fun of climbing the trees; but what she hadn’t allowed for was that it was over a mile away, and by the time they arrived the younger ones wanted to go back home! Fortunately, her worried father had managed to locate them and arrived in the car to meet the band of young children wearily travelling in the direction of home. Marilyn was in disgrace! Angry parents assailed her and said that they’d always thought she was a sensible child but now had let everyone down. She was duly sent to her room to reflect on her transgression. Nonetheless, her pioneering spirit has never left her and people are often surprised by how this gentle Pisces woman can demonstrate, when called upon, a strength of character that can move mountains. She would eventually manifest the spiritual master in form to acknowledge her innocence and devotion to the truth.

Ever since she could remember, Marilyn’s deepest yearning had been to love and be loved. As an attractive young woman in her late teens, she naturally caught the eye of many of her male colleagues at work. Although she enjoyed the attention, she was acutely shy and held back from any serious relationships until she met Brian at eighteen. They married a few years later in 1968 despite opposition from her family. From the outside they appeared an ideal couple; Brian was an anchor for her in many ways although there were indications before long that a crack had appeared in the marriage. But they persevered and had enough in common at the time to make it work. They nearly split after six years but decided to give it one more go, which led to the birth of two beautiful daughters.

And so her life unfolded with all the love and drama that families normally experience. When her father died, her mother came to live with them at the family home; this was a blessing in many ways but it changed the dynamic within the family, and at times Marilyn struggled to keep everything together. Whenever she felt the world was too much for her she would seek solace in her books. A visionary in her own way, she had an impressive collection of holistic and spiritual works.

When her mother died it signalled the beginning of a complete change of her life. Separation and divorce came eventually after twenty-five years of family life; and this time the chasm couldn’t be bridged. Towards the end of the marriage, Marilyn was going through a spiritual crisis. She’d discovered the teachings of Barry Long, whose words and presence were to turn her life upside down. Brian, a keen and expert archer was spending most of his spare time with his archery friends. Also, by this time he was making good money in the business he’d set up with my brother James. Brian thought his wife was becoming stuck in a rut and wanted her to find some interests of her own, so she signed up for several courses and made new friends, many of whom were interested in esoteric subjects. She was widening her contact with people outside her marriage, job and family, which balanced in some way what was happening to her within. But all the time she and Brian were growing further apart.

The children, now teenagers and having to cope with the disorientating effects of the break-up, were set to go to college and lead a more independent life. The two girls were highly intelligent and despite the trauma of the situation they somehow knew that what was happening had to be. Later, they themselves would be influenced and guided by the teachings of Barry Long.

Love is a principle of supreme intelligence that operates within the depths of the psyche. The mysterious power of attraction that draws couples together is neither chance nor the caprice of fate. My deepening love for Marilyn was inevitable, as was her love for me. And, in that, we were no different to countless other lovers who refuse to compromise with anything that would keep them apart. But what unfolds, for better or for worse, depends greatly on the discovered purpose of love between partners. When the time came for us to embark on our life together, we were both ready for such an undertaking and resolved to go all the way in love.