The Truth of I

There is often great debate and discussion in spiritual circles as to the reality of I, the self-conscious awareness that knows I exist. So what is the truth of I in everyone’s living experience?

Firstly, let’s remove I as any fixed position and examine what remains. At birth for a short period there is no conscious I point; the infant exists as an instinctual I which moderates the bodily functions. Beyond that, the newborn is utterly dependent on its parents or guardians for its external physical survival. I arise soon after birth with the repetition of experience and formation of a workable memory. With no memory as a structure of a psychological world, there is nothing for I to reflect upon. This becomes highly significant later in the approach of the higher realms of mind.

I become established early in the living life, more as a convenience than as a conscious acknowledgment of a deeper reality. I am compelled to assert my presence and navigate through the world of multiple ‘I’s, each with a personal identity. When, through grace, the shift of consciousness activates the impulse to turn inwards, I undergo a change of perspective that puts pressure on the fixed position of mind. The effect to begin with is liberating and brings out an expansion of space registered as peace and a broader vision of life. At times I appear to have disappeared altogether because instead of reflecting on the memorable impressions of the past, I am reflecting on the purity of inner space.

As much as I enjoy the state of simply being (which is similar to the effortless state of dreamless sleep or gestation in the womb), I re-appear through necessity when compelled to participate in the affairs of the world. I am essential as the master of the memory to remember where the body lives and what time to pick up the children from school. But when not engaged in any overt action, I can now withdraw at will into the pure space of the being, which has been transformed through living as a more conscious and responsible person in the world. I discover I am here, embodied in the sensual flesh and blood body – and there, in my greater reality as a multiplicity of being.

When the search for truth becomes the way of life, I journey on towards the point within the reality system where life and existence began. I am aware of the great privilege in being inducted into the origins of existence. Through grace, what is observed is that in the original moment of eternity in the minute gap before nothing becomes something, there are no worlds to reflect upon. I have yet to manifest in existence. This original knowledge is retained on the cusp of the eternal mind. This is the state of nothing before the something that is realised in the moment of God or self-realisation. But the state cannot be retained while embodied on the earth. Even after the deepest realisation, I am compelled to appear soon after to reflect upon the moments leading up to the realisation – and as the master of the memory to serve the needs of the individual man or woman while alive.

But something endures after the realisation of God which profoundly changes such a being. What endures is the knowledge of where I come from as a complete identity of spiritual truth. The mind and psychic self is now aligned with the source of cosmic consciousness and directed towards serving life in a way to bring more love and rightness into existence, wherever I arise in the world.